We just celebrated our wedding anniversary, thirty-two years. We didn’t do anything special since we both had to work but I can’t help but remember our wedding. Since we’d both been married before and we had five children between us, we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on our wedding. I did a lot of the wedding décor and preparations myself. Looking back, I can see how brides turn into Bridezillas. All the craziness beforehand with trying to remake my dress and make my bouquets. When things went wrong, they went very wrong. Desperate and crazy, I called my maid of honor, and we went shopping for a sundress. What is the saying, when the going gets tough the tough go shopping!
We both wore white sundresses and my two flower girls had flowered dresses on white background. The guys wore black pants and white shirts, except my groom, he wore gray. The ceremony was near perfection. It was pretty close to my dream wedding. We were married outside at my aunt’s home on the river. My father-in-law built us a trellis and we decorated it with flowers. We had a pig picking for our reception. Our brother-in-law cooked the pig. Altogether we probably didn’t spend a thousand dollars including the cake and the food. I’d say it was closer to five hundred.
Because of my own simple wedding, it’s difficult for me to even imagine spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding. I’ve watched movie weddings and soap opera weddings, I’ve even watched the royal weddings, but it always seems like such a waste. These kinds of weddings are the fantasy weddings so many little girls dream about but so few can afford. What is it about weddings we love or hate?
I’m writing a bonus story for my newsletter with a wedding. As a reader, what part of the wedding do you want to know the details? I love the dress description, but I also want to know the groom’s expression when he sees his bride coming down the aisle.
So, what would you want to see or read about in a short wedding story? The walk down the aisle with her father or maybe the teasing of friends or siblings? I always loved watching the first dance with the bride and groom, or the bride’s dance with her father. Perhaps you love to see the couple cut the cake and feed each other, or maybe you just like to eat the cake.
Share your wedding photos or tell me your favorite part of a wedding.
As a pantser learning to plan my writing has been difficult but if you are like me and you think about your story even when you aren’t writing then you are already planning.
Jed suggested taking 5 minutes to answer these questions:
1. What am I going to write today?
2. How does this move the plot?
3. How does this develop my character?
4. Why would this be someone’s favorite scene?
Other authors suggest writing a brief sketch of the scene before you write it. Answer questions like:
1. What does this scene do?
2. Is this information used in another scene?
3. Do I need this scene to make the story work?
My mentor Marni Graff ends her day by writing a note about what she plans for the next scene.
I start my writing day with a scene I’ve imagined in my head. If I can’t get on the computer to write, I will handwrite the scene in a notebook or on my phone.
If I am not sure where this scene will go in the story I might put it in a separate file and add it in when I reach that section.
You do not have to write in a linear fashion. You can start in the middle and sprawl out in both directions or start with the ending and work your way back up to the beginning. The latter works well for mysteries.
Stopping for the day in the middle of the chapter makes picking up where you left off easier.
I don’t outline but fast drafting is similar. You tell yourself the story in the fastest way possible. I do it in simple bullet points. After I have it down I go back in and start adding details.
If you want to know more about my method come join me at The Next Chapter Books and Art store 320 S. Front Street, New Bern, NC Saturday, June 17th, 3-5 pm. Cost is $20 and you must pre-register by emailing mgflye@yahoo.com.
In order to write faster you must first turn off your inner critic. It is difficult to write and edit at the same time. Turn off your editor and just create. Enjoy the process. Be free! Write as if no one is going to read it. Pour everything you think and feel into it with no censor.
You might surprise yourself. You might even frighten yourself. It’s good to be a little bit afraid. Fear shows passion. If you are not a little afraid then what risk have you taken?
Writing in 10-15 minute increments is another way to write faster. Set a timer and write for 10 minutes. How many words did you write? Try it for fifteen or twenty minutes. Is your average word count better or worse? Some people write better for longer periods but others do more during the shorter times. I do a variety of times taking breaks in between to keep fresh.
Join writing sprints with fellow writers and enjoy the community of writing with others. There are online events and even in person ones. If you can’t find a group, start one.
What do horror stories and romance have in common? My husband is an avid horror movie buff and he reads sci-fi and medical thrillers, but he also likes to watch romance movies and those reunion clips on YouTube. You know the ones where a military person is reunited with their child, spouse or other family member. It always makes me cry.
I have never loved horror movies. I like vampires and werewolves, and some horror/thriller movies. I enjoy reading some of the darker books with some horror elements but I don’t consider myself a true horror fan. I have worked in haunted houses and I’ve marched in parades dressed as a clown, yet find it difficult to go into a haunted house and clowns can be a bit creepy.
While I was doing research for this blog, I was curious about what scientist and psychologist say about our love for horror. As a romance author, I have heard speakers talk about the affects of romance novels on readers. Stories can make people more empathetic, understanding, open-minded and there is a feminism to modern romance stories. Yes, readers still want the happy ever after of old but we see women who choose careers over having a family, we see their love-interest being supportive of their goals and willing to make sacrifices to help them achieve them. There are still some traditional romances where the couple marries and have a family, but they aren’t the only option. What surprised me when I was doing the research was that horror fans are also thought to be more empathetic and intuitive. While it’s true, some movies can feed aggressive behavior, such as movies where there is a lot of fighting, and the theme is might is always right. For the most part, as the master Stephen King explains, horror itself is a sort of safety valve, a symbolic cantharis for our cruel and aggressive behavior.
From WebMD blog “Why We Love Scary Movies” by Richard Sine, his interview with Joanne Cantor, PhD, director of the Center of Communication Research at University of Wisconsin, Madison states, “most people like to experience pleasant emotions.” We fall in love alongside the characters in a romance, experience their journey to their happy ending and are left feeling as if we’ve just fallen in love.
Professor Glen Sparks believes horror movies may be similar to our ancient rite of passage rituals. Young men especially feel the need to pit themselves against something bigger, meaner, and prove themselves. In watching a scary movie, the fear is real. Our bodies haven’t learned to filter out what is on screen and what is real danger. We react as if we are the ones hunted by the monster; our heartbeats increase, our palms sweat, skin temperature drops, muscles tense, and our blood pressure spikes.
Psychologist Glenn D. Walters identified three factors that feed the attraction to horror entertainment: 1) Tension-by including elements of mystery, suspense, gore, terror, and shock it ramps up the tension. 2) Relevance-including elements viewers identify with which plays on the psychology of fear, the most universal, the fear of death, the unknown, or cultural relevance. 3) Unrealism-having all of these “real” elements coupled with the knowledge that it is not real and probably won’t ever happen, allows the viewer to experience the fear, test their mettle within a safe environment.
Stories were originally told as a form of education. Don’t go too far from the cave or you’ll be eaten by dinosaurs. Don’t go into the woods or you’ll be attacked by wolves. Our first stories were horror stories told to keep us safe and warn of dangers.
Going into a haunted house or watching a scary movie allows us to conquer our fears. For many, horror and other violent entertainment is a way to deal with actual fears and real violence. Just as a person might learn how they wish to be treated by a lover from a romance book or movie, they can also learn to cope with evil from watching or reading horror. Fiction, no matter the genre has a way of telling us what other options are available to us. It can open our eyes to possibilities. While I don’t expect to meet a Duke and live in a mansion, having a husband who treats me as his priority and he mine, is a big part of what romance taught me. Being brave enough to face down demons from hell with only a bottle of holy water and a crucifix, well, maybe not so much. I think I’d prefer to be armed with a flamethrower at least. But whether you are a fan of horror or romance, sci-fi or action-adventure, I hope you will open your eyes and heart to people, their differences and similarities. Most of us, no matter where we come from, the color of our skin or our religion, we’re just trying to survive, find love and enjoy a few moments of peace and happiness.
Research sites:
WebMD-Why We Love Scary Movies by Richard Sine
Washington Post-Why We Like Scary Things by Richard Sima
Why I love Ethnic Movies and Books, I love learning about different cultures and discovering our similarities as well as what makes us unique.
I was watching Wedding Season last night. It is a charming television movie about two Indian families. One family wants their daughter to marry and find happiness. She works hard but has closed herself off to love after a bad relationship. Her sister is getting ready to marry a white guy who is trying too hard to embrace the Indian culture. He loves her so much. He wants to show her family he is worthy of her but in the process is making her a little crazy. The second family, the good son has disappointed his father by dropping out of college, the father won’t listen to the young man when he tries to talk to him about his life and his work. The old man assumes he’s a bum and won’t be able to find a wife by telling the truth, so he makes up a profile for his son. The mother of workaholic daughter makes up a profile for her, and the two are coerced into meeting.
Now many of us would say, why don’t they just refuse. Why don’t they contact the ap and have their profile taken down? What compels them to do this crazy thing for their parent? Is their culture so different than our own?
Growing up in the south, I can relate to the Asian and Indian culture of the importance of family. My parents were loners and tried to avoid a lot of family events but even they understood the importance of family. If my dad’s sister requested his presence at an event, or my mom’s mother, then they would attend, perhaps grudgingly, but they’d attend. You do a lot of things because of family expectations, go to a preferred school, join certain clubs, make career choices… If my parents arranged for me to meet someone, I’d feel compelled to at least show up and meet the guy.
One of my daughters-in-law is Cambodian. She and my son had two weddings in order to appease her parents and also have the wedding they wanted. They had a traditional Cambodian wedding which lasted three days (it would have lasted a week if my son had been Asian too), and then they had a Christian/civil ceremony a few weeks later.
As I watch these movies or read books with strong matriarchal or patriarchal societies I can relate to a degree because there is a certain amount of pressure to please our parents and grandparents especially if you have a close family. Add in the struggles many of these families have had just getting to America and building their lives here, some having left home with little or nothing, possibly not even knowing the language, and you can see how the community becomes an extended family.
My daughter-in-law’s family were refugees. They were prepared to go to France. Her father was a teacher. He spoke French. But when things fell through and they were unable to go to France, they came instead to America where they were not prepared, did not know the language, and the hardships they faced put a strain on their family. The Asian community helped them find work, places to live and even helped them acclimate to life in America.
In rural North Carolina, I grew up with a sense of community and that community was part of my extended family. I grew up as a neighborhood kid. I was part of the community and they were a part of teaching and training me. As I write my stories, I bring family and community into my setting and characters. Like many of the ethnic stories I read and watch, I feel a kinship because here in our small town we are invested in each other’s lives.
Reading books and watching movies that entertain us and give us a little taste of what someone else has gone through, and suddenly the world becomes a little smaller, strangers become neighbors, and our differences don’t seem so foreign because they are the uniqueness of a friend or the peculiarities of a neighbor, so they are not as frightening as those of a stranger, nor a foreign as someone living half a world away.
It’s women’s history month and as a lover of history and a woman, I feel that we should be learning more about the great things women have contributed to our history. Truthfully, I feel learning about the great people and events, as well as some of the horrors of history that have effected women, people of color, and native peoples is important to truly understanding our past.
There are so many historical female figures who have been both heroines and villains. Some have been truly good or evil, but others it depends on which side of the tale you are on. In The Great Courses program by Joyce E. Salisbury, Warriors, Queens, and Intellectuals: 36 Great Women Before 1400, I discovered women I’d never before heard of and some I had but knew very little about. Have you heard of the Trung sisters of Vietnam who fought the Hun, or the martyr Perpetua? Zenobia and Boudicca are famous for fighting the Romans. Aisha, wife of Muhammad was instrumental in shaping the Muslim religion. Women, sisters, wives, daughters, dancers, queens, and nuns have changed the world around them. Some for the good, developing mathematics, science, and the first novel, others, well, some were conspirators, spies and murders. Women in history, just like modern women, are capable of good and bad things.
As a romance writer I am inspired by these historical women. Like these women who didn’t back down from a challenge, I want my characters to be tough and strong. Maybe because I never felt very tough or strong myself. All through history we find women who went against society, challenged society and even used society’s expectations to make changes. But if you’ve read my books, you know that my female characters are also inspired by women I know. They are the bad girl with the big heart who has survived a difficult life, the woman whom the whole town depends on to get things done, or the good girl who does what she is supposed to do but yearns to be just a little bit bad.
There are people who believe romance books are passe, that they aren’t about feminism. But if you read modern romance, you see that the story isn’t about waiting for the hero or stronger character to come and rescue the heroine or weaker character. It is about finding that one person who brings out the best in you, encourages you to be strong, and is willing to sacrifice to help you achieve your dreams. Anyone who says this isn’t realistic, well, I’m sorry, but I can name several who have found that one person who’ll do whatever they can for their partner to help them achieve their dreams or goals. My own husband has helped me achieve mine.
In Chrome Pink, Rae has always been strong else she would not have survived all the bad things that happened to her. Her friends and her grandfather were her support system but until she met Logan, she didn’t realize her own strength and worth.
Dana and Jenna both have their own strengths and weaknesses. Dana in White Gold is the busiest woman in Leeward but cannot find a man who can keep up with her until Agent Jake Monroe returns to Leeward. Jenna’s strength comes from her sense family and her kind heart. When her estranged husband returns, she can’t send him away.
Tracy is a ballbuster. In Red Steel, we see she is tough and strong, but her attitude hides a vulnerable heart. She’s afraid to trust Billy but can’t deny her desire for him. Together they overcome each other’s weakness to find their strength.
In the Harrell Family Chronicles, Willow and Liz don’t feel strong. They each suffer from their own weakness yet they’ve overcome obstacles and with the love of their husbands discover their strength.
Janie, of Janie’s Secret is a good girl. She hides herself behind that image afraid to allow herself to be wild for fear of what might happen. One of her secrets is her feelings for Chief of Police Mike Mackenzie.
Roxy is the bad sister. In Roxy’s Betrayal, she is a bit more vulnerable than she acts. She comes across as a user but she does bad things in order to help. When she meets Jorge Claudio, she wants to be better.
Maddie and Melodie, sisters in Christmas Inn at Teach’s Island and Trent’s Melody, overcome past hurts to give love a second chance. Maddie is the tougher, older sister who has trust issues. With Cole Harrell, Maddie feels safe enough to be vulnerable. Meanwhile, Melodie is determined to ignore her feelings for Trent but as she learns his vulnerability, she discovers her own strength.
In my historical cozy mystery, half Lakota wild west performer, Winnie Applegate has always had to be strong. Motherless and young, she is vulnerable in her desire to be loved and accepted. When her family is threatened, she leaps to protect them and uncover the mysteries.
I have been doing a lot of research on cybersecurity lately for my new book. Researching all the possible weak points a person has in their lives where a cyber attack might take place. From our personal computers with our banking and medical information to our vehicles and even our smart houses. We depend on computers for so much of our daily lives that if someone wanted to disturb us or worse, kill us, they have all the information right at their fingertips.
Most of us grumble over two part security to get into our emails and onto an app but if you’ve ever had a breech in security, you understand more the importance of these methods. Most of us experience minor discomfort when something happens. Our credit card company calls and informs us there has been an illegal purchase on our card and we respond. They handle the problem. We might have to do without the use of the card for a few days while they send us a new one. Then there’s the trouble of setting our payments if we had any auto payments or had the card attached to any bills. But what if the goal was to discredit you or kill you?
All over the internet, especially in my writers’ groups they’ve been talking about AI, artificial intelligence. I’m sure you’ve heard of some of the latest apps that have come out where you can make a picture by feeding the app a few words and asking it to do it in a certain style. There is also AI used for audio. I have several audiobooks done by Google Play. The recent controversy has been with the human narrators for audiobooks versus Apple’s AI generated narrations. Using other people’s work, voice, style to train artificial intelligence to do the work in the style of someone famous. What is to stop someone from using AI to write a book in the style of Steven King, having an AI generated narrator to record it in the voice of Morgan Freeman, and design a video trailer like that of George Lucas. Most reputable authors and artists wouldn’t think of plagiarizing something from another artist but then there are those who are not as concerned about right and wrong or who gets hurts by twisting the rules. AI for most of us is a great tool. For me, it was an affordable way to get my books into audio. Something I can’t as yet afford to do with a human narrator. It’s on my list of things to do when money allows.
But as I’ve been researching cyberattacks and hearing about AI my brain combined the two. Already were seeing how AI can be used to make it look like someone has been somewhere they haven’t…this would be great for an alibi. How would you prove they weren’t really there? Or could they be two places at once? AI could make it look like they were. AI can manipulate photos, video, voice recordings, writing, and what else? How could a criminal use this information to rob a bank? Steal someone’s identity? Frame someone for murder? What other ways do you think AI can be used for good or evil? I’d love to hear your ideas. How do you feel about using AI to create book covers, books, blurbs, movies, etc.
People often ask me where my story ideas come from. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember the exact moment something came to me or what inspired it. Much of what I write comes from life, my life or the lives of friends and family. I also get inspiration from the news, television, movies, other books, a picture or even a misunderstanding.
Recently I watched a movie called Tall Girl and I was reading a book called Beauty and the Baller by Ilsa Madden-Mills and I was thinking about my dad. My dad was a long-time baseball and softball lover. He lived for ball games. An athlete himself, he played ball growing up and when we came back to North Carolina to live, he started playing and coaching summer league softball. He even helped coach the school team with his long-time friend and fellow athlete.
Even though Beauty and the Baller was about a football player and Tall Girl was about a high school talent contest, they both had elements I related to: body image, peer pressure, other people’s opinions of us, our insecurities and baggage… How much of our adult lives are affected by things that happened to us in childhood or as teenagers? This kicked off memories of summer league ball and being the coach’s daughter. Wanting to play but not being very good, I dealt with my own insecurities. I still have a love of the game, but I’ve never had a talent for sports.
I’ve been thinking of doing a story about baseball players for years in honor of my dad but these inspired me to go in another direction. I’d like to work on a series, The Women of Summer League about women some in their mid-twenties and some older who play ball and what being part of the team and playing means to them. I want to add in a romance and I’ve been toying with the idea of suspense, I had an idea for a murder but I’m not sure if I’m going to go that route. Y’all know me, I love a good murder and if I get to blow things up, that’s even more fun.
It will take me a little time to do the research for these stories and I have one series to finish and another I’m already working on, so I’m planning to work on gathering ideas and that’s where you guys come in. I’m looking for people, mostly women but men are welcome to share their stories as well, about your experiences playing summer league softball. I’ve worked up a questionnaire but will probably have follow up questions. If you are interested in sharing your stories, I’d love to hear them.
I prefer first-hand account research whenever possible but I will also read biographies, and watch documentaries about other women athletes, not necessarily from softball. If you choose to share your stories, know that I will fictionalize them and they may not look the same when I’m done. The character who ends up with your story might be the victim or villain in the story. If you are not comfortable with that, thank you but it’s best not to share. I would not want anyone’s feelings to be hurt.
Just a little background on my process. Chrome Pink, Rae Lynne Grimes started out with a description of my husband for a writing class, and she morphed into a half-Hispanic female with a bad attitude. The motorcycle she restored was inspired by the bike my husband and his boss were restoring that had belonged to the boss’s nephew-in-law who’d passed away from cancer. The breast cancer theme came from my friend’s mother being diagnosed with breast cancer and the work my sister-in-law was doing with Relay for Life.
My sister-in-law was one of the people who inspired my character, Dana Windley in White Gold. Our fossil festival and pageant were another inspiration for that story, combined with North Carolina’s ranking in human trafficking.
Titanium Blue and my couple were inspired by married life and it’s difficulties, my son who’d served two tours in Afghanistan, my father-in-law a Viet Nam veteran and my friend who’d lost his leg in an accident.
Red Steel was inspired by my youngest son who was a volunteer firefighter and first responder. His relationship with his wife, a photographer and my research into drones and explosives.
Every story I write has a little bit of my life and a lot of fiction. I never know what is going to start a story. Inspiration is everywhere and I believe sometimes we just have to reach out and claim it. You and I might both have similar inspiration but we’ll interpret it differently. The filter of our own life experiences, personalities and talent changes how the story is told. It can change again when we choose which character is telling the story.
What inspires you?
If you’d like to be part of my research for the softball themed series here is a link to the questionnaire. Thank you.
Success is just a leap of faith into the abyss and surviving the fall.
I’ve been struggling lately with feelings of failure. My sales haven’t been great, and I’ve been wondering about whether I’m spinning my wheels and wasting my time. What is the meaning of success? Everyone categorizes success in different ways, for some it is accolades from their peers, awards, notoriety, for others it is about the money, the lifestyle, and still others it is the level of achievement, a goal reached.
Like most small business owners, I’d like to make more sales and as an author, I’d like to build more fans. I’d like more people to read my books and fall in love with them. Somedays it seems no matter how hard I work I’m just not making it. But then something amazing happens and I feel renewed, like I have a reason to keep believing. What does it mean to me to succeed? What is my idea success? Yes, I want to sell more books, become a well-known author, be able to pay my bills with my writing career but is that really what success is? Is that all there is? How do I define success?
As we begin the new year, I am doing some real soul searching about what my future holds. What does success mean to mean? Contentment, happiness, peace… I’ve achieved that. I’m happy with my life. Maybe not every minute of every day but mostly I am happy and content, with my family and friends, and even my work. I feel good about what I’m doing. I’m doing what I love. It’s not always easy to juggle my writing career with my “real” job, other obligations, family, and friends, but mostly I manage. Some days I’m tired. I’ve stretched myself a little too far, but I know if I want this, I have to push myself.
Each year I try to add something else to my resume. I try to write new books, have my books available on new retailer sites and be visible on new social media platforms. I try to learn new things and even have new experiences. Some years, especially during Covid, those experiences might be limited to online, other times, I might be able to attend a writing conference in another state. Whatever new adventure I choose, it is usually something that will advance my career or at least help me learn. While I might not be able to quit my day-job just yet, each step, even some of the negative ones, have helped me on my journey to success.
No one can define success for you. Each of us have to decide what it means for us. While I might want to win the lottery and be independently wealthy, that won’t make me successful. Success for me can only come when I feel I’ve done my best and I’m happy with the outcome and selling lots of books wouldn’t hurt either.
True success is a life well-lived, and a heart well-loved. (I think that is slightly misquoted from Tuck Everlasting).
Wishing you all a happy and successful New Year. Just remember to be HAPPY!
You can find my ebooks at your favorite ebook retailer or right here at my own online store.
sherrilhollister.com/Suspense She Writes Bookstore Dismiss
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