Tag: fearless

Posted in Thoughts, writing inspiration

If Not Now, Then When

Posted on by Sherri
Me, my dad and mom 1980

A conversation with my mom, an inspirational quote and a memory on Facebook had me thinking of a new blog post I wanted to write.

How many of us have a dream we are afraid to pursue? I know I did. If not for the push of my best friend and my husband, I would not have made the first steps to being a writer. My writer friends, mentor and Beta readers have given me the tools, confidence and encouragement that have helped me become a published author. For years, fear of failure, of not believing I was good enough, kept me from even trying. It was only after my best friend read some of my work and liked it that I felt confident enough to start thinking seriously about pursuing the dream I’ve had since I was a young girl.

Pamlico Writers’ Conference with Jim Keen, author Katherine Ashe, myself and my friend Robina Norman

I believe fear cripples many dreamers. Fear and an unkind word or thoughtless criticism can shackle a budding creative. I was reading a Guide Post my mother gave me and the section on positive outlooks called “The Up Side” inspired me. One of the quote really struck home. “Stop telling yourself you need to be fearless. You don’t, You simply need to be courageous,” by author and motivational speaker, Valorie Burton in the May 2021 Guideposts.  

How many of us feel we’ve waited too long to make our dreams come true? My mom had a box of stuff she was going to use “someday.” She talked about traveling, visiting friends and relatives, going to interesting places… someday. It was always someday. When she lost her home to flooding during Hurricane Irene, her box of special things was destroyed. Later that same year, Mom fell and broke her hip. Now with the onset of severe arthritis, she has difficulty walking and her hopes of traveling and visiting interesting places has become limited. Someday never comes. If you want to do something, then you have to make a plan and as Nike says, “Just Do It!”

Ann Peach award winner, thanks to my friend Robina pushing me to submit an entry.

“If Not Now, Then When?” is a slogan I’ve heard recently, it’s very à propos. Putting off our dreams until we have more money, we have more time, the kids are grown, whatever your excuse, the truth is, it is fear that binds us and keeps us from reaching for our dreams. But, we are not guaranteed tomorrow. If you are waiting for everything to be just right you will never even get started. If you truly want this dream to come true, you need to make it a goal. Make a plan. Set things into motion. Save up for that special trip. Start working on that novel. If you need a push, find a group that will support your plans. My best friend and local librarian talked me into sending a story to a writer’s competition in Carteret County. I attended their awards ceremony and met an author from a writer’s group closer to home. Afterwards I joined the Pamlico Writer’s Group.

I have been a member of the Pamlico Writer’s Group off and on for about twenty years. My son Jason even attended a meeting or two with me when he was a teenager. It took me a long time to find confidence in my talent. I’m not sure if I’ve yet discovered my true voice. Each book helps me to discover more about myself and my writing. I’m still learning. I waited a long time to get published and still feel I have a long way to go to reach those who have influenced my stories but I’m working towards my dream, my goal of being an award-winning author. What are you doing to make your dreams come true?

Posted in inspiration, Thoughts, writing inspiration

FEAR, my first mistake

Posted on by Sherri

How many mistakes have I made on my journey to becoming a published author?

Hmm, there are too many to name, but I will start with a few lingering ones that will hopefully help someone else when they are looking to get published.

My first mistake was FEAR!

I was afraid of trying to get published. I was scared to let others read my work. I feared I wasn’t good enough. When it came to self-publishing, I was apprehensive about spending money, of taking chances, of failing. I was intimidated by everything.

Confession: I am still afraid. It’s okay to be afraid, but if you allow fear to keep you from doing what you love, you will never do anything. Like the heroes we love to read about and watch, remember we don’t have to be fearless, in fact, people love to cheer for the underdog. Think Rocky! So, swallow your fears and do the scary thing anyway. Be the hero in your own story!

Let me start with FEAR ONE: Not good enough.

Well, this was and is true. I’m not as good as I’d like to be, but I am getting better. Practice makes perfect, or at least makes improvements. Like anything else we do, there are people who like my books and others who do not. That’s okay, it is important to remember that we cannot please everyone, and we should not try. The first person we have to please is ourselves. Do you love what you are doing? If you have a passion for it, whether it is writing, painting, or music, whatever it is, your love and joy will show in your effort.

Grammar mistakes are the bane of my writing! I’m working on relearning all the lessons Mrs. Simpson tried to teach me in high school English class. Thank goodness for all of the editing programs available online nowadays and for friends and family members who are great at proofreading and catching my mistakes.

I have talked with other writers and have been surprised to learn that many of my favorite writers say they doubt their work or their ability. They often fear they will not be as good with the next book. Fear is a very real thing and it can be crippling. I repeat, no matter if you are a writer or a dancer, an artist or a musician, when you put your talent out there for others to critique, it is scary. Some will love you and others will not. The person you have to convince is yourself. Believe in your talent. Fall in love with what you are doing. Let your joy shine through your work and others will feel it too.

#2: Fear of failing. Has anyone in history ever done anything without fear of failure? Failure is a very real part of life. The truth is sometimes you are going to fail but the only sure-fire way to not fail is to not do anything and that in itself is failure. I have never attempted anything important without fear of failure from going out for cheerleading, attending to college, to parenthood and getting married, to writing and publishing. If it means something to you, then yes, there is going to be fear. If you are not at least a little afraid then you’re not risking enough. With great success come great risks. You cannot win if you are not willing to put it all on the line. This is true whether you are talking relationships, athletics or art, if you don’t put your whole heart into it, you will not reap the rewards. When the risks are greater, the success is sweeter.

#3: Afraid of taking chances and spending money. I’m sure there are other authors, perhaps even other creatives, who feel the same way I do… afraid to spend money especially before you start really making money. I’ve always been conservative. While uploading to Kindle Direct Publishing is free, there are other costs that a self-published author has to take on themselves. I was talking to my youngest daughter-in-law recently, I’ve mentioned that she is a photographer, like me, she worries about spending money for her craft/business. We know that there are somethings that we have to put the money into, for a photographer it’s the camera, lens, perhaps some classes. For a writer, it’s a computer, maybe editing, cover design, marketing, and classes. I recently broke down and invested in a class I’ve wanted to take for a couple of years. It’s scary to invest the money not knowing if it will be worth it but as my daddy used to say, “Scared money don’t make money.” Sometimes you have to conquer your fears and take a chance on yourself.

What I’m trying to tell you is what I’m telling myself, believe in yourself and take a chance. Don’t let your fears keep you from making your dreams come true.