Romance is more than two people coming together for a night, it’s about giving someone what they need to be the best they can be for a lifetime.
I believe in romance and happy endings. Sometimes you have to cry a lot of tears before you get there but I do believe. My husband and I recently celebrated 29 years married and this month makes 30 years together. Ours hasn’t been an easy life, we were both married before. Both of us had more than a few failed relationships. We came into our relationship with a posse of boys. David had three sons and I had two. We blended our families together to make one. Together we had another son who was brother to all and in many ways the glue that stuck this family together.
As an only child I didn’t know what to do when the boys started fighting or how to fight with my husband, I’ve never had anyone to fight with. Even after all the years married to my almost wonderful husband, I’ve never learned to fight. He’s tried to teach me, challenge me, even bully me into fighting with him. I know learning to fight and not believe it’s the end of the world is part of growing not just as a couple but as an adult, unfortunately it is one of my greatest weaknesses.
Standing up for myself, fighting for what I’m passionate about, finding my voice, and believing in myself has been one of the hardest parts of my journey, not just to reach my romantic happily ever after but to find my happiness as a writer and yes, as an adult. I still find it difficult to believe anyone wants to hear what I have to say. I suffer low self-esteem and even with my husband’s support and the support of friends, family and fans, I struggle to believe in myself.
I write characters who can kick ass and take names. I want to be like that. My sister-in-law and daughters-in-law are more like my characters than I am. They make handling the tough stuff seem easy. Today was a rough day, I got my heart broke. My husband was there for me, he was not only my lover, he was my friend. He listened to me cry and reminded me that we’re partners, teammates. His love and support were the balm I needed to help me through a dark moment.
Part of our story is centered around those six boys we raised together. We’ve had some difficult times, some tragedies, some heartache but all-in-all we’ve been blessed. As you can imagine there was never enough money while the boys were small. It seems if we had a little extra it was soon followed by an emergency that came and took it. But no matter how bad things have been I knew I could crawl into my husband’s lap, snuggle in his arms, and everything would be all right or at least he’d make me forget it for a little while.
Our story is forever intertwined with our children, even though we are unique individuals we are not dependent upon each other there is a connection that is more than words can explain. Whenever I’m at my lowest, one of the boys always seem to sense it and reach out to me. As I was struggling to regain control of my emotions, number three son called. It was as if he knew I needed him today. While talking to him and his wife they said something that really hit home. Like any great romance story, they are the Yin and Yang. They are very different in personality, but each gives the other what they need to be their best. While he softens her rough edges, she gives him strength to stand up for himself.
My uncle recently remarried. It’s not his first wedding, nor his brides but there was a hopeful happiness to the celebration that filled us all with the promise of their happily ever after. On their card I wrote what marriage means to me. Marriage is about joining your hearts and lives, creating a home, and sanctuary. It is more than romance, though that is important too. Marriage, happily ever after is about being lovers, friends and each other’s home.
I believe in happy endings, but I know they take a lot of work. People and events around us can threaten our happiness. As a romantic suspense writer, I’ve learned that sometimes you have to go to battle and kill a few bad guys before you can relax and have your happily ever after. So I’m going to have my happy ending even if I have to kill somebody to get it. At least I know where to hide the bodies.
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