Speak Up or Stay Out?

My mother always told me if I couldn’t say something nice, I shouldn’t say anything at all. Well, there have been plenty of times when I should have kept my mouth shut and other times when I should have spoken up. The times I regret most are the times I didn’t speak up when I should have.

Recently I found myself in one of those situations. After a meeting at a Chinese restaurant, one of our attendees was having a difficulty about the cost of their bill. At first, I didn’t pay them any mind as it wasn’t any of my business but then a couple of things caught my attention. The attendee got verbally aggressive and began treating the manager with disrespect. The gentleman, to his credit, never lost his temper even after she was very rude. He spoke English with a heavy accent, but he spoke understandable English. She kept asking for the manager, he was the manager and told her so, and for someone who spoke English.

As the head of the group hosting the meeting, I felt I needed to speak up. I don’t like confrontations, but I also don’t like other people to be disrespected. With my heart in my throat, I stepped into the fray. The manager very carefully explained the problem. The person had gotten the buffet but felt they’d not eaten enough food to make the cost worthwhile and didn’t want to pay full price. They’d also gotten a special drink and a takeout plate. He wasn’t even charging for the takeout plate. I tried to explain that the cost of the buffet was the same no matter how much you ate. But they were adamant. Finally, to get the person to leave and give the poor man a break, I said I would pay for the meal. I really did not have the money, but I felt I had no choice. As the head of the group, it was my responsibility to make it right. Our group has been having meetings at this restaurant for several years. We are a professional group, and we belong to a larger organization. Not only did I not want to be personally associated with such hateful behavior, but I did not want our organization to be tainted by this person’s rudeness.

It is okay to stand up and not allow someone to charge you for something you didn’t get, or all another to mistreat you, but it is never cool to be rude, especially in a professional situation.

How would you have handled this situation? Could you have stood by while someone from your group was rude to someone else? I’d love to hear your thoughts.